Annual Review


As the year draws to a close, a brief summary of some of the key events from 2024:

January
Operation "Prosperity Guardian" - US led airstrikes on Yemen's Houthis to protect Red Sea shipping begins. Meanwhile in London the streets are inundated with protestors calling for "Yemen, Yemen make us proud, turn another ship around."
February
With the muder of Alexei Navalny in a gulag in northern Siberia, Putin removes the last high-profile opponent to his regime.
March
The Metropolitan recieve £230 million of taxpayers' money for surveillance drones and facial recognition technology, turning the High Street into a permanent police line-up.
April
Sunak's Rwanda bill finally passes. By the time Labour take office and scrap it, the Rwanda plan results in the deportation of a grand total of 5 individuals - at the bargain price of £140 million each.
Meanwhile small boat crossings continue, adding over 36,000 highly educated taxpayers to the British economy by the end of 2024.
May
Sunak responds to the Tories' pasting in the local elections by calling a General Election for July.
The Media Bill passes through The Lords, ensuring Ofcom can now keep us safe from hurty words on streaming services as well as traditional broadcast media.
June
Net migration stands at 728,000.
Average house price stands at 7 times average annual salary.
July
First Past the Post awards Labour a supermajority following the general election.
Starmer's arithmetically-challenged socialists proclaim a "landslide" victory after securing 33.7% of the vote.
August
In response to the summer's riots, Starmer goes straight for the jugular of civil liberties, proposing an expansion in the use of facial recognition technology and widening the scope of the Online "Safety" Act.
In the following weeks citizens are imprisoned for the heinous crimes of: being "curious observers," livestreaming others, and making idiotic comments on Facebook.
September
Labour cut the winter fuel payment for pensioners, and in the same month block the opening of a new coal mine.
Fortunately Net Zero means we have plenty of solar panels to keep us warm at night.
October
The Electoral Commission threatens to de-register The Libertarian Party unless approved changes are made to the party constitution. The Commission backs down when reminded such a demand violates Article 11 of the 1948 European Declaration of Human Rights.
In the same month The Libertarian Party stage a protest against State intrusion at Victoria Square in Birmingham.
November
Donald Trump wins The White House, prompting a pandemic of mental health crises amongst global wokeites.
The incumbent leader of the free world takes the opportunity to use his remaining in office to pardon his son Hunter of criminal convictions.
December
Total economic growth for 2024 stands at 0.7%, the UK virtually tops the table of global energy prices and London has recieved less sunlight this year than Oslo.
On the plus side, at least we have reams more of equality and diversity and tax legislation to enjoy, or burn to keep warm.
Here's to a more joyful and prosperous 2025!

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